April 15, 2016. 1 year tomorrow. The day Layne asked me to spend forever with him. One of the happiest days of my life, but now I dread. All week I’ve been sick anticipating this day.
You see when Layne died, I didn’t just lose him, but it seems like all my plans, hopes and dreams died along with him. I had a godly, loving fiancé who was the perfect match for me, and we had our dream wedding planned to a T. We were finally figuring everything out and knew where we wanted to live and where we would build our dream house. We had our cattle operation planned. We knew our future children’s names. We even had future family vacations planned! Now, I’ll never marry Layne or pick out the best calves with him or raise a family with him. Some of these dreams I may never get to live out, or maybe I will, but it won’t be with Layne.
Sometimes God shatters our dreams and changes our plans, even if you’ve prayed and really thought you were following God’s plan.
Here’s the thing though: God has a plan and a reason for everything and His plans are far better than any of mine.
In Job, we learn that Job lost his children, servants, livestock, and became ill. However, God provided and “gave him twice as much as he had before.” In Ruth, we learn that Ruth loses her husband, but she is obedient and faithful to her mother-in-law and God. She goes from a poor widow without children to a prosperous wife with children. These are great examples of Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Right now I’m clinging to Job 11:18- “Having hope will give courage.” I have hope for a happy and bright future provided by God, so that gives me courage to take on my grief and sadness to get there💕